I'm concerned about my child's development. What's the best way to talk to their doctor?

It’s reasonable to bring up developmental concerns even if you’re not sure whether something is actually a delay. You know your child best, and doctors generally want to hear specific observations rather than a parent having to diagnose the issue themselves.

Before the appointment

• Write down exactly what you’ve noticed—for example, speech, movement, social interaction, play, learning, behavior, or skills your child has difficulty with.
• Note when you first noticed it, whether it happens consistently, and whether your child has gained or lost any skills they previously had.
• Complete the CDC milestone checklist appropriate for your child’s age and bring it with you. The checklist is useful for discussion, but it isn't a substitute for a formal developmental screening.
• If another caregiver or teacher has noticed something, write that down too.

What to say to the doctor

You can be very direct:

“I’m concerned about my child’s development, particularly ____. I’ve noticed ____. Could we talk about whether this is expected for their age and whether they should have a developmental screening?” Then ask:

• “What developmental milestones should my child be reaching at this age?”
• “Do you recommend a formal developmental screening?”
• “Could anything else be contributing to what I'm seeing?”
• “Would you recommend an evaluation by a specialist?”
• “What should we do next, and when should we follow up?”

The CDC notes that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends developmental screening at 9, 18, and 30 months, autism-specific screening at 18 and 24 months, and additional screening whenever a parent or clinician has a concern.

If your doctor remains concerned, you can ask about referral for a more comprehensive evaluation. Depending on the child's age and circumstances, developmental specialists and early-intervention or school-based services may also be appropriate.

One particularly important point: if your child has lost a skill they previously had, tell the doctor explicitly rather than waiting for the next routine visit.

If you tell me your child's age and what you've noticed, I can help you turn your observations into a short list of things to bring to the appointment.

The best way to talk to your child's doctor is to schedule a dedicated appointment specifically for your developmental concerns , rather than waiting for a routine checkup, and come prepared with specific examples of behaviors or missed milestones you have observed.

Steps for Talking to the Doctor

1. Schedule a focused visit : Call the office and clearly state, "I have specific concerns about my child's development and milestones that I want to discuss in depth."
2. Write down your observations : List the exact skills your child is struggling with or has stopped doing, noting when you first noticed these patterns.
3. Bring video evidence : Take short video clips on your phone of the behaviors, movements, or communication patterns that worry you, as children often act differently in a clinical office.
4. Ask direct questions : Inquire specifically if your child qualifies for a formal developmental screening or a referral to a specialist (such as a developmental pediatrician, speech therapist, or neurologist).
5. Push past "wait and see" : If the doctor brushes off your worry with a passive approach and you still feel uneasy, request a clear action plan, a second opinion, or an independent evaluation.

Parallel Resources While You Wait

• Early Intervention (Ages 0–3) : You do not need a doctor's referral to contact your state's public Early Intervention Program to request a free developmental evaluation.
• School District Services (Ages 3+) : If your child is three or older, you can contact your local public school district's special education department directly to request an evaluation for preschool services.

If you can share your child's age and the specific developmental areas (like speech, motor skills, or social behavior) you are worried about, I can provide more tailored examples of what to mention to the doctor.

The best way to talk to your child’s doctor is to schedule a dedicated appointment, bring concrete examples or video clips of the behaviors worrying you, and use specific developmental milestone checklists to guide the conversation.

Preparing ahead of time ensures you and your pediatrician stay focused and aligned on your child’s needs.

Preparation Steps Before the Appointment

• Document specific examples : Write down exact behaviors, words, or skills your child is struggling with, or note milestones they seem to have missed or lost.
• Record short videos : If a behavior or movement concern happens intermittently at home, capture a quick video on your phone to show the doctor clearly.
• Use milestone tools : Complete a validated tracker, such as the CDC Milestone Tracker App or checklists from HealthyChildren.org , and bring the results with you.

During the Conversation

• Be direct from the start : State your primary concern immediately when the visit begins rather than waiting until the end. Say something clear like, "I am worried about my child’s speech delay and how they interact with other kids."
• Ask for formal screening : Request a standardized developmental or autism-specific screening if one isn't automatically offered.
• Clarify next steps : If the doctor suggests a "wait-and-see" approach, ask what specific indicators would prompt action or request a referral to a specialist right away.

Follow-Up and Advocacy

• Request specialist referrals : If your concerns persist or you want a deeper evaluation, ask for a referral to a Developmental-Behavioral Pediatrician or pediatric specialist like a speech-language pathologist or neurologist.
• Contact early intervention : In the U.S., you can self-refer your child (usually under age 3) to your state’s Early Intervention Program for a free evaluation without needing a doctor’s permission.

If you'd like, share your child's age and the specific milestones or behaviors you are noticing, and I can help you outline precise notes to bring to your appointment.

It’s completely reasonable to bring this up—even if you’re not sure whether there’s actually a problem. You know your child best, and developmental concerns are worth discussing rather than waiting indefinitely.

Before the appointment

• Write down specific observations. Instead of “I think they’re behind,” note things like “At 2½, they use about 10 words and rarely combine words,” or “They used to point to things but stopped.”
• Note when you first noticed the concern, whether it happens consistently, and whether your child has lost any skills they previously had.
• Complete a CDC milestone checklist for your child's age and bring it to the appointment. It can help organize the conversation, although it doesn't replace a formal developmental screening.
• If possible, bring examples—such as notes from daycare or school, or short videos showing something you've noticed.

What to say to the doctor

You can be direct:

“I’m concerned about my child’s development, particularly ____. I’ve noticed ____ over the past ____. Could we do a developmental screening and talk about whether they need further evaluation?” Then ask:

• “Is this within the expected range for their age?”
• “Could we do a standardized developmental screening?”
• “If you’re concerned too, what evaluation or specialist would you recommend?”
• “Would early-intervention services be appropriate?”
• “What should I watch for, and when should we follow up?”

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends developmental screening at 9, 18, and 30 months, autism screening at 18 and 24 months, and additional screening whenever a parent or clinician has a concern.

If the doctor says to “wait and see” but you remain concerned, it's reasonable to ask why, what specific signs you should monitor, and when to reassess. A second opinion is also an option.

If you tell me your child's age and what specifically you're noticing, I can help you turn your concerns into a short list of things to bring up at the appointment.

Talking to your pediatrician about developmental concerns can feel overwhelming, but you are your child's best advocate. Guidance from the CDC's Act Early Program and the American Academy of Pediatrics highlights a practical approach to prepare for the conversation:

1. Write down your specific concerns : Make a clear list of what you've noticed (e.g., speech delays, trouble with motor skills, changes in behavior, or missing specific milestones for their age).
2. Gather examples and videos : Capture short video clips on your phone of behaviors, struggles, or unique movements you want to discuss.
3. Talk with other caregivers : Ask teachers, daycare providers, or family members who spend significant time with your child to share what they see.
4. Use direct language : When you schedule or start the appointment, clearly state your intent: "I am concerned about my child's development and would like to request a developmental screening and evaluation."
5. Ask for next steps : If your doctor agrees there is a delay or if you want a deeper look, ask for a referral to a specialist or connect with your local Early Intervention Program for a free evaluation.

If you'd like, tell me:

• Your child's age
• The specific milestones or behaviors you are noticing

I can help you outline a focused list of notes to bring to the appointment.

It’s completely reasonable to bring this up—even if you’re not sure whether what you’re seeing is outside the typical range. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends discussing developmental concerns whenever a parent has them rather than waiting to see whether a child “catches up.”

How to prepare

Before the appointment, jot down:

• What you've noticed: Be specific about things like speech, movement, play, social interaction, behavior, learning, or independence.
• When it happens: Note how often, in what situations, and whether it seems to be changing.
• What your child can do: Mention strengths and skills they've gained as well as areas you're concerned about.
• Examples from other settings: If appropriate, ask teachers, caregivers, or relatives whether they've noticed similar things.
• Videos or records: A short video can sometimes help a doctor understand a behavior that doesn't happen during an appointment.
• Milestones: You can complete a developmental milestone checklist and bring it with you.

What to say to the doctor

You don't need to diagnose anything. You could simply say:

“I'm concerned about my child's development, and I'd like to understand whether what I'm seeing is typical for their age. I've noticed ___, especially when ___. Could we assess their development and talk about whether they need any further evaluation or support?” Then ask directly:

• “Could you do a developmental screening?”
• “Is there anything here that concerns you?”
• “Would you recommend an evaluation by a specialist?”
• “Are there services or therapies we should consider now?”
• “What should I watch for, and when should we follow up?”

Developmental screening can be done whenever there's a concern, not only at scheduled screening ages. If concerns persist, the pediatrician may refer your child for a more comprehensive evaluation or to a developmental-behavioral specialist.

Most importantly, don't worry about sounding overly concerned. Your observations are valuable information; you know your child better than anyone else.

If you tell me your child's age and what you've noticed, I can help you organize the concerns into a short list of things to bring up with the doctor.

It’s a good idea to bring it up rather than waiting to see if things change on their own. You know your child best, and developmental concerns are appropriate to discuss with the pediatrician at any time.

Before the appointment

• Write down what you’ve noticed. Be specific: “She rarely uses words to ask for things,” is more useful than “Her speech seems delayed.”
• Note when you first noticed it, whether it happens consistently, and whether your child has lost any skills they previously had.
• Think about several areas: speech/language, movement, learning/problem-solving, social interaction, behavior, and emotional development.
• Complete the CDC's age-appropriate developmental milestone checklist and bring it with you. It is a conversation aid, not a diagnosis.
• If teachers, daycare providers, grandparents, or another caregiver have noticed something, write down their observations too.

What to say to the doctor

You can be very direct:

“I'm concerned about my child's development. I've noticed ____. I first noticed it around ____. Could we do a developmental screening and talk about whether my child needs further evaluation?” Then ask:

• “Is this within the range of typical development for their age?”
• “Could we do a formal developmental screening?”
• “Should we evaluate hearing or vision?”
• “Would you recommend a referral to a developmental specialist or another professional?”
• “Are there early-intervention services we should contact now?”

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends standardized developmental screening at 9, 18, and 30 months, autism-specific screening at 18 and 24 months, and additional screening whenever a parent or clinician has a concern.

If your doctor recommends “wait and see” but you're still concerned, it's reasonable to ask what specific signs you should watch for and when you should follow up. A second opinion is also an option.

If your child is under 3, you can contact your state's early-intervention program directly for an evaluation; a doctor's referral isn't required. For children 3 or older, your local public school system can evaluate for preschool special-education services.

If you tell me your child's age and what specifically you're noticing (speech, walking, social interaction, behavior, learning, etc.), I can help you prepare a short list of things to tell the doctor and questions to ask.

The best way to talk to your child's doctor is to schedule a dedicated appointment specifically to discuss your developmental concerns , and bring concrete examples like a CDC Milestone Checklist or short videos of the behaviors you notice. Trusting your parental instincts and acting early are the most effective steps you can take.

Preparing for the Appointment

• Write down specific examples: Note exact areas of concern, such as speech, movement, social interaction, or behavior, and how long you have noticed them.
• Record short videos: Capture any specific behaviors or challenges at home, which can help show the doctor exactly what you see.
• Use milestone tools: Review age-specific checklists beforehand, such as the CDC's Milestone Tracker App , to pinpoint exact milestones your child may be missing.

Questions to Ask the Doctor

• "Can we perform a formal developmental screening today?"
• "Do my child's skills fall within the typical range for their age?"
• "What early intervention services or specialists do you recommend if they need extra support?"

Next Steps Beyond the Doctor

• Contact Early Intervention: If you live in the U.S., you can contact your local school district or state's early intervention program directly for an evaluation. You do not always need a pediatrician's referral to request this screening.
• Seek a second opinion: If you feel your concerns are dismissed and your worries persist, trust your gut and seek an evaluation from a developmental pediatrician or specialist.

If you'd like, share:

• Your child's approximate age
• The specific skills or behaviors you are noticing

I can provide more targeted milestone information or resources for your next steps.

It’s completely reasonable to bring this up—even if you’re not sure whether what you’re seeing is outside the typical range. You know your child best, and developmental concerns are worth discussing rather than waiting to see if they disappear.

How to start the conversation

You can be direct:

“I’m concerned about my child’s development, particularly ____. I’d like to understand whether this is expected for their age and whether we should do a developmental screening.” Before the appointment:

• Write down specific examples. Instead of “they seem behind,” note things like “uses about 5 words,” “doesn't point to show me things,” or “has difficulty following two-step instructions.”
• Note when you first noticed the concern and whether it's getting better, staying the same, or becoming more noticeable.
• Mention strengths as well as concerns. Development isn't just about what's difficult.
• If applicable, bring information from daycare, preschool, teachers, or other caregivers who see your child regularly.
• Consider completing the CDC's age-appropriate milestone checklist and bringing it to the appointment. It's intended as a conversation tool, not a diagnostic test.

Questions you can ask the doctor

I'd consider asking:

1. “Is my child's development where you'd expect for their age?”
2. “Could we do a formal developmental screening?”
3. “Do you think we should evaluate a particular area, such as speech, motor skills, learning, behavior, or social development?”
4. “Should we see a specialist?”
5. “Are there services or therapies we can start while we're evaluating this?”
6. “What should I watch for, and when should we follow up?”

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends standardized developmental screening at 9, 18, and 30 months, autism-specific screening at 18 and 24 months, and additional screening whenever a parent or clinician has a concern.

If the doctor shares your concern, ask specifically about referral and early-intervention services. You don't necessarily have to wait for a diagnosis before pursuing an evaluation or services; in the U.S., early-intervention programs generally serve children under 3, while public school systems can provide evaluations/services for children 3 and older.

One particularly important point: if your child has lost a skill they previously had, tell the doctor promptly rather than waiting for the next routine visit.

If you tell me your child's age and what specifically you're noticing (speech, walking/motor skills, social interaction, behavior, learning, etc.), I can help you turn your observations into a short list of things to bring to the pediatrician.

The best way to talk to your child's doctor is to schedule a dedicated appointment and bring specific examples, notes, and videos of the behaviors or missed milestones that worry you.

Trust your instincts as a parent. If your doctor dismisses your concerns and you still feel worried, you have the right to ask for a formal developmental screening, a specialist referral, or a second opinion.

Steps for Talking to the Doctor

• Call ahead : Tell the receptionist you want to schedule a visit specifically to discuss developmental concerns so they allot enough time.
• Write down specific examples : List what your child is or is not doing, and note when you first noticed the issue.
• Bring short videos : Record clips on your phone if the behavior is hard to describe or happens mostly at home.
• Be direct : Start the conversation clearly by saying, "I am worried about my child's development regarding [speech, movement, social skills, etc.]".
• Ask for a screening : Request a standardized developmental or autism screening if one is not automatically offered.

Next Steps Beyond the Doctor's Office

If your child is under age 3, you can contact your state’s Early Intervention Program for a free evaluation. You do not need a doctor's referral to do this. If your child is 3 or older, contact your local public school district for a preschool special education evaluation. You can learn more about tracking milestones through the CDC Milestone Tracker.

If you'd like, tell me:

• Your child's age
• The specific behaviors or skills you are worried about

I can share what typical milestones look like for that age or help you prepare a list of questions for the visit.